I share this to encourage anyone who is battling depression, Ptsd or any other form of mental illness. For years I took different anti-depressants to help me deal with severe depression and anxiety as a result of childhood sexual abuse and a fatal car crash while enlisted in the United States Army. I know that anti-depressants help many people and I would never try to discourage anyone from taking them at all, so if they are working for you that’s awesome! I just want to let people know that there are other solutions.
As I continue to heal, I’ve learned to address my past by talking about my issues with someone who I trust. I’ve realized that not everyone has your best interest at heart and some people don’t care about you at all. I learned to surround myself around strong people of faith who can not only pour into me spiritually but those who can lend me a shoulder when I’m in need of a friend. Most importantly, I have come to the realization that sometimes I will find myself alone and I will have to muster up enough strength to encourage myself also! Sometimes we may reached out to others to rescue us but we have to understand that people will fail us and it’s unfair to expect them to give us joy and to cater to our every emotional need. So instead of being so quick to pick up the phone and call someone, or to send that message on social media, I learned to cry out to God first and ask Him to give me the strength because in many cases people will fail you.
For many years I used isolation as a coping mechanism, I never liked being around a lot of people. I’d rather be in a dark room alone than to be around a bunch of people who couldn’t possibly understand my pain. There was comfort in being in darkness, I learned to hide my pain and until I was able to shine the living LIGHT through my dark moments, I wasn’t able to begin my healing process. That Living light is Jesus Christ. God had me to address every dark area of my life head on and He gave me the strength to move forward. Until I was able to address the issues from Childhood molestation, I would not be able to begin my healing process.
What helped me was surrendering my life to Jesus, realizing that I couldn’t fight depression in my own strength alone. I had to go back to the root of my issues, which was childhood abuse and neglect. I also had to forgive all who wronged me as a child, those who violated me and my parents for their mistakes as well. Once I was able to do so, God gave me a sense of peace that surpasses all understanding.
Many Christians think that believing in Jesus and attending church is enough but even demons believe, in fact they attend church also. I had to cry out to the Lord on many occasions, in fact I still do today. Pleading with Him to not heal me but deliver me from my past. As a believer in Christ, we have to go through trials and tribulations, we can’t forget that long suffering is a fruit of the Spirit also (we tend to skip over this) because no one wants to suffer at all including myself. If you are a true worshiper of Jesus, you will suffer for His name sake!
Glory to God that I no longer take medications at all, I keep these meds to remind me where God has brought me from! In my case these meds didn’t heal my depression, they were just a temporary fix to my issues, like alcohol and narcotics, they make you feel good for the moment but in all actuality you still have to address the root of the issue at hand! Yes I still have some issues but I am no longer bound by depression or anxiety. I share only to give others hope, I am a living testimony of what God can do, every depressed person is not suicidal, yes I battle depression daily but it shall not overtake me so I will continue to declare and decree my healing in the name of Jesus Christ and I encourage others to do the same!
Marko Hamlin 