Many victims of childhood sexual trauma are living in bondage. Many people like myself were threatened at an early age with severe physical punishment if family secrets were told to anyone on the outside. You’d be amazed of how many children are being sexual violated in their homes by people who are closest to them. Studies show that 90% of victims are sexualIy abused by close relatives or friends of their family. While I was in the Foster Care system from the age of four to eight, I can remember being terrified of the consequences I would face if I would tell anyone what was going on in that home. Although I was being sexually, physically, and mentally abused I was taught early on never to tell anyone, or there would be hell to pay.
I believe that the people in the black communities adapted to the “don’t snitch” attitude because of what was happening in our homes. People who live by the code on the streets, I mean the real gangster type would never snitch on anyone. For those of you who don’t know what snitching is, it’s usually associated with someone who cooperates with authorities such as the Feds, these people are informants, they give pertinent information to Law Enforcement and turn on their counterparts when facing severe punishment. Some (snitches) have their sentences reduced significantly by giving up a person’s whereabouts and their involvement in a particular crime of some sort. In my case, I was very young and was fearful because I didn’t want to prolong being reunited with my biological family. My mother was in the process of getting her life on track after she lost custody of her children because of her alcohol addiction. I thought that if I would snitch on the people harming me, the state would take me away and place me into another Foster home, and I would never see my family again.
If I could go back and change my past, I would tell my social worker what was going on in that house. It would’ve saved me much heartache and pain. Those who adapted to that “don’t snitch” mentality, it may be cool for the streets but not in our homes where innocent children are being violated. Since coming forth and sharing my story, I understand why many victims of sexual abuse choose to remain silent. Many will take those dark secrets to their graves. I lived in silence for almost three decades and it took a toll on me physically and mentally. Silence can be deadly, not only can it affect your health, it can turn your heart cold and make you question your purpose while here on earth.
Today I’m free because of my relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, He allowed me to finally open up about my past. God gave me the strength to go back and revisit my childhood and to forgive all who harmed me, I then was able to begin the healing process. God can take a bad situation and turn it around for a greater purpose. I’m now able to tell my story to help other people move forward. It’s a new day and I believe that people will be healed and homes will to be restored. The only way to move forward and to become an overcomer is to acknowledge that there is a problem. For generations, we’ve been taught that silence is golden but if we remain silent the cycle of dysfunction will remain, in fact it will only get worse. I’m a living witness of the power of God, I could’ve given up on life long ago but today I understand that I’m here to encourage others and to give them hope. I found my purpose!